This Thing Called Love!

What’s time to us?
We live in moments,
moments where my breath
fills your chest,
and your eyes become mine!

Our spirits intertwine,
all while standing, holding hands
in line!

The world around us disappears,
all I see is you, there is no months,
there is no years, aging becomes renewed!

You’re always right here, I feel you near,
there is no such thing as us, if it’s not
me and it’s not you!

Every heartbeat is like a beat on a drum, bass coursing through my veins!

High on this thing called love,
you and I,
where time stops, and the young never die!

All My Confessions to Cure My Depression!

For a long time,
I been praying my step father would die,
hoping that in his death my pain,
would leave this Earth along with him.

I was only thirteen when he looked at me
like he wanted to touch me,
not like a father but more like a lover,

and I felt uncomfortable,
my mother could tell,
but when I opened my mouth to explain
how I felt, she laughed at my pain,
making me, everyday since then, question
what my insides screamed.

It’s crazy to me that one simple moment
could kill the kid inside of me,
making me hate my every move,

it’s took me this long after that to
learn to find my voice again,
and that voice made me realize,
that even in death my step father’s pain
will still stay,

so instead I chose to fight for forgiveness,
because letting them both have power over me,
made me feel less like their child, and more like their slave,

I know trauma gets passed down, so I refuse for something like this to ever be given to my child!

This is my life and it belongs to no one else, you won’t continue to keep sending me to hell,

I will start to stand up for myself,
and when I do you will begin to see someone else!

I know I hurt a lot of people along the way, probably spreading the same cycle I suffered from!

When I was touched by my older sister, I didn’t understand the pleasure but I still liked it very much, didn’t know I was signing away my innocence that same day

In my confusion, I tried to get that feeling again, touching my brother, my cousins, uncle, and couple of our friends!

I wasn’t even old enough to know what to do with my body yet, should not have been all alone but wasnt sure who I was suppose to tell, I just felt ashamed of myself,

maybe that explains why I wanted to be touched so much growing up, maybe that’s why I lost my virginity so soon, maybe that’s why I’ve only found love in lust and not trust!

My life has been a downward spiral of depression so I make these confessions, I’ve learned my lessons, no more holding on to the guilt, pain, anger, and hate! I’m letting it go, freeing my soul!

Today is a new day!

I Didn’t Leave, You Did….

Do you trust me?
Because I gotta be sure these days,
all these people will lie to my face,

the closest ones to you don’t even
support you,
they just want you to win so they can
say that they know you,
cashing out on my clout!

What’s up with this world?
I’m tired of power cuz it blocks
out the love,

Well fuck it!
I gave it away,
I’m asking for loyalty in its place!

Do you trust me?
What do you say?

If I didn’t have anything would
you still stand next to me?

What’s the answer?

Bet you can’t even write no more since you been with her,
because I was your muse,
traded your girl for a bag with some dirty ass shoes,

I ain’t mad at cha!
Do what you do,
but please when you see me,
don’t forget I did warn you!

The Fight for my Life!

My heart is fighting through the storm,
the storm I created on my own,

hard to trust when I gave too much
and they still left in a rush!

Have you ever been so hurt that
you just want to be alone?

Crying out for help but the words
dont even leave my mouth,

I NEED HELP!

How can someone that once loved
you, send you straight to hell?

I wait patiently on the white dove,
please bring me back my love,

I forgot what compassion is,

how do you defeat a demon like this?

Am I blind? Do I see?

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!

Life is just an endless hole
you fall back down to climb out of,

When will I learn what I need to know?

I don’t want to give up but I’m tired
of this fight!

Scouring the night,

Where is the light?

Pain is My Middle Name

The similarity between the criminal, princess, basket case, athlete, and brain,

is pain,

this world hurts everyone,
but not everyone bleeds the same,

it’s quite ashame how we still don’t see it that way,

I was born to lose,
so I’m fighting to win,

don’t you dare give me your hand,
I wasn’t meant to fly without first learning how to stand,

everyday I wake up I’m closer to the end
you think I’m gonna give up,
you better guess again,

I found my pain was my enemy and my friend,

I’m in this till the truth is more famous than the fame,
so the last thing you’ll ever forget will be my motherfucking name!

Hi Misery!

I get it, you’re weak,
that’s why you put the target on me,
I look so strong, so if you could
bring me down, that will help you
feel better huh?

Sorry to burst your bubble, but
that won’t satisfy your demon,
see I know that one well,
that demon is jealousy,

and now your lying to yourself,
saying I couldn’t be talking about you,
well it looks like denial got a hold of
you too!

Anyone that talks bad about me
behind my back, must hate the view,
I’ll keep walking forward because
I’m not even worried about you,

you’re mad,
you’re jealous,
maybe you wish you were me!

You want to see me stop,
you want me to give up!

I’m sorry to disappoint you hunny! 🙂

Rest in Pieces!

I realized I’m getting more and more
cleaver at weeding out the ones haunting
my soul,

I told you I notice everything,
I’ve stood by watching all this time
waiting to strike,

it’s gotta be precise to gaurantee
you won’t be back,

foolish to think you got the best of me,
I thought I told you all
no one does it quite like me,

every voice that once thought they could reside in my head,
feeding me fables to keep me in place,
all those voices are dead,

I want you to see what I saw,
so when you rest your eyes tonight,
you’ll be in for a lovely surprise,

I gathered up all the demons,
yes, the ones you thought were gone,
I sent them straight to the place that you’ll be going,

this was mercy on my part because
If you ever come back again,
I’ll be sure to send not only just you
but the ones you love as well!

Rest in pieces!