Heroin

Learning how to be okay with the fact that I wouldn’t leave people alone even after they left me alone, makes me wonder

Is it a strength or a weakness

Calling over and over again

Your voice mail became my best friend

Like an addict

The sound of you telling me to leave a message became my heroin

It wasn’t easy to give it up

Even when you blocked me

I found a way to still get my fix

Searching through old photos and videos

Sad but I had a problem that you couldn’t help me with

And even if anyone wanted to help me it wasn’t like I was trying to stop it

It wasn’t until recent that you’re responses to my stalking grew empty and you stopped posting anything new that I slowly found it harder to sustain my high

I was forced to move on but I’ll never forget how you left me

even when you finally realize how much you adored being wanted like that and realize you want me to come back

I’ll remember how you strung me along then I’ll expect you to start singing my song

I’ll want to watch you get high over me

Crawling at my feet

this will show me exactly how sad I seemed

Teaching me to get more and more clean

Goodbye 104

I feel like I’ve said goodbye one hundred and four times

Well here comes time 105

Bye to the man I thought was my one

When in fact you were never that

Bye to a friend that never had my back

Bye to the crybaby who couldn’t handle a small setback

Instead of sticking around you jump ship

Like a captain with zero commandment

Bye to the guy who shouldn’t bother to introduce his kids to anyone when clearly he’s so far from knowing what he wants

you look unhappy in your newest relationship right now

Who knows how much longer that will last before your kids have to try to forget another name

Bye to the nights I cried over you

When clearly you made it less worth it to cry even a year or two

But I have to appreciate the time spent wanting to be with you

Because all that time I spent fantasizing about a completely new version of you

One that you couldn’t possibly become but I knew someone else will

So it bye to you and hello to the future with loving myself

Heartburn

You ever looked at something you didn’t like long enough that it started to make you mad

Cuz that’s how I feel when I look at the pictures of you two

Not an angry rage more like my heart was doused in gasoline and the photos are the lit match

It gives me heartburn staring at you with someone who isn’t me

But then you told me feeling something even if it’s pain was better than feeling nothing at all

And that’s how I knew

She was nothing more than a pon in our war

When did it end

us trying hard to hurt the other

Just to make sure we could feel pain

For if we did then we both be feeling the same thing

our guns working overtime

Cause we firing shots like we at the free throw line

Fouls called ever hour of this game

What a shame

We too old for both of us to be trying to avoid taking the blame

I’m gonna be the bigger man and say I know I made a mistake

A lie was all I knew this relationship could take

Look how far you and I could fake FAKE

Well I’m not eating no more of that cake

I wanted you but if this is the road I must take

Consider me exiting off the next exit ramp to escape

You should play you’re game with someone else babe

My heart is burning but it doesn’t seem like you’re man enough to put out the flame

Something is better than nothing

I hear you

I speak for you

I’m thankful

Grateful

I’m loving and trying to take care of all the people

I believe you

You told me to be free

And here I am

Open like a book

In a library

The words on the pages

Fill me up like a four course meal

I’m not signing anything

I’m not taking no deals

We got each other

This feeling got me all in the feels

Peace to myself

For everyone else

Trying take all my people out of jail

We know better

So we know we ain’t living in no hell

Disaster is a simple consequence

That we did to ourselves

I’m learning more

Front row in the class

Getting A’s like there ain’t nothing else

Blind leading the blind

Won’t help

Shit my people slipping

I catch them all

Like they never even fell

Poke me wrong and we

Going to have a long discussion

In hell

I don’t play games no more

I just grab the belt

Pay attention to the world

Because this world needs help

Fix your mind right

So you can free yourself

Uh oh uh oh

Honestly if I tell

Tell you what?

You won’t want to know love

y’all out of control

Let me be

Before you bring

Out the wrong side of me

It’s a scar I have to bring to peace

No one else got it

Just me

Just me

So take the day off

For once before

Light goes off on earth

Thriller will run wild

Like it’s a new birth

Finally ready to make a mark

In her truth spurt

I, me, you, us

Love in the ultimate

Darkness

Miscommunication

Now look what you’ve done

I’m back in love with someone

Someone who isn’t the one

I continue to ask

Am I meant to be alone

Cuz I only want to be with you

But you don’t want to speak to me

Saying that I did you wrong

I’m sure that it’s miscommunication

Things blown out of proportion

If you would only allow me to talk to you

We could get them all situated

But I’m not yours and you’re not mine

So you do what you want with yours

And I find some way to slowly waste my time

because all I want is you

And you don’t know the truth

I’m hoping one day you read this

And understand I’m waiting for you

Fairy Tales

How do you stop “forever”

How do you kill “always meant to be”

Maybe I’m just foolish

Or maybe I’m right

You were made just for me

How can you lie to fate

How can you marry someone who isn’t your partner

will I always be alone

Or will one day you find out exactly what I know

That we are each other’s everything

Without you there is no me

Wonder who you keep pretending to be

Fate finally brought us together

and then you ended things

All so you could try and replace your wifey

With a temporary fling

We both know she will never be who you really need

Why must we play these games

I’m the only one meant to take your last name

Or maybe I’m being silly living in a fantasy

Or maybe I’m right

This love story is written just for you and me