I Hope You Miss “Me” a Little When I’m Gone!

There is a clear difference between self-sabotage and letting others tell you who you should hate!

You never loved me if it was that easy for you to believe them over me!

Every test wasn’t gonna be easy but that’s the only way I know whether or not someone is worthy!

I know that I’m perfect, you said it yourself,
I know that I’m different but you couldn’t tell!

You thought it would be easy to find another angel in hell, well tell me now, are you proud of yourself?

Does the button she pressed make you lie to yourself?

When you think about me now being gone, do you cry to yourself?

Placing every blessed memory of me on
a shelf, thinking one day you could stop me from flying to myself!

Killing what we had, leaving me, is only bad for your health!

You might as well say goodbye now before it’s too late, death is coming real soon to seal your fate!

Don’t believe me? Ask the last two men who thought they could defeat me,

one had a huge scare, the other one now lives his life in a wheelchair!

It’s not my fault you chose the wrong heart to stick the knife through, maybe next time you will listen to “me” when I tell you to trust me! Oh well sayonara you fool!

Another one bites the dust!

Violence Births Violence!

It’s much harder to go against your natural instincts, to hurt someone that hurts you,
but I try my best not to do what we do!

Let things be, it’s not about you, it’s about me!
I’d rather lose pride so I could gain peace,

you may think that it’s weak to turn the other cheek,
well, my only rebuttal is,
I guess that’s how you think!

To throw blow for blow, births more violence or so I’ve been told!
I’m tired of the fighting,
laying down my sword,
if you strike me down when I do this,
I’ll be known for so much more!

Resistance will strengthen your muscles too
don’t believe me, if you don’t want to,
I’m only responsible for what I do!

I’m here to spread what I know, from
who I’m told, wants you all to know,
free will is still apart of our
very souls, so every choice you make is your choice alone!

Forgiveness is the Only Key!

What do you want from me?

A reaction, a reply to all the hate you have inside?

Yes, I loved him and he left me for you, this is true!

I learned that the way you both went about destroying me, and picking me apart, had less to do with me and more to do with you two!

Misery loves company, but I left the party sis!

You’re eating your own pie of jealousy, and I’m gonna let you finish it!

I forgive you, I forgive him!

I love you both and I hope one day you will both see this,
because until then, you’ll be drowning in your own pain,

I’m happy, I’m free, I’m being the true me!

And you could hate me or love me, but that’s no longer my business!

I’m letting you go, I hope you both find your souls, I wish you the best!

No one knows better than me how it feels to be hollow in the chest!

That feeling will eat at your spirit and send you to a place so unforgiving!

Smiling will become the hardest thing that you do!

Free yourselves, find forgiveness within!

I’ll see y’all on the other side when you’re both done repenting!

No Role Models

I want to be inspired,

someone show me something different,

every head turn shows me the same magician,

I’ve seen this trick a thousand times,

I close my eyes,

because I need to disappear,

I’m lost, I’m found,

I escape to another world

where everyone is strange,

no one repeats,

goats, no sheep,

I open my eyes,

still not surprised!

I am the Dream!

In your success to kill my dream of being with you, you killed your dream too!

I gave you fireflies, little lights that helped you see in the night,

I gave you rope, to pull in your boat when you were tired of the storm,

I gave you wisdom beyond your years, till this day you still don’t know what to say without me in your ears!

So you killed my dream of us, but while you lost me, I didn’t actually lose that much!

This Thing Called Love!

What’s time to us?
We live in moments,
moments where my breath
fills your chest,
and your eyes become mine!

Our spirits intertwine,
all while standing, holding hands
in line!

The world around us disappears,
all I see is you, there is no months,
there is no years, aging becomes renewed!

You’re always right here, I feel you near,
there is no such thing as us, if it’s not
me and it’s not you!

Every heartbeat is like a beat on a drum, bass coursing through my veins!

High on this thing called love,
you and I,
where time stops, and the young never die!

All My Confessions to Cure My Depression!

For a long time,
I been praying my step father would die,
hoping that in his death my pain,
would leave this Earth along with him.

I was only thirteen when he looked at me
like he wanted to touch me,
not like a father but more like a lover,

and I felt uncomfortable,
my mother could tell,
but when I opened my mouth to explain
how I felt, she laughed at my pain,
making me, everyday since then, question
what my insides screamed.

It’s crazy to me that one simple moment
could kill the kid inside of me,
making me hate my every move,

it’s took me this long after that to
learn to find my voice again,
and that voice made me realize,
that even in death my step father’s pain
will still stay,

so instead I chose to fight for forgiveness,
because letting them both have power over me,
made me feel less like their child, and more like their slave,

I know trauma gets passed down, so I refuse for something like this to ever be given to my child!

This is my life and it belongs to no one else, you won’t continue to keep sending me to hell,

I will start to stand up for myself,
and when I do you will begin to see someone else!

I know I hurt a lot of people along the way, probably spreading the same cycle I suffered from!

When I was touched by my older sister, I didn’t understand the pleasure but I still liked it very much, didn’t know I was signing away my innocence that same day

In my confusion, I tried to get that feeling again, touching my brother, my cousins, uncle, and couple of our friends!

I wasn’t even old enough to know what to do with my body yet, should not have been all alone but wasnt sure who I was suppose to tell, I just felt ashamed of myself,

maybe that explains why I wanted to be touched so much growing up, maybe that’s why I lost my virginity so soon, maybe that’s why I’ve only found love in lust and not trust!

My life has been a downward spiral of depression so I make these confessions, I’ve learned my lessons, no more holding on to the guilt, pain, anger, and hate! I’m letting it go, freeing my soul!

Today is a new day!