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Living Free

Dear ex
You did your best
Putting me thru all that stress
Hands on my neck
Squeezing till I’m out of breath

Still remember when you told me to slit my wrists
Those sweet words almost made me not resist

I really love how the whole time you made me feel guilty for lying
All that time I spent crying and repenting my sins
You never even admitted you were just as guilty
I found out only when she text my phone to let me know you and her had sex right before you got on that plane to come see me

I thought I could make it better, give you a home and child
That was wild

I got pregnant and then I knew i was gonna be stuck with you.
I’m so glad you stressed me to the point I miscarried
Cuz who knows what would’ve happened
Like we might’ve ended up married

Doubt it, cuz you didn’t love me
You loved the control of me
Your puppet you could release but knew you could always come back to pull on the strings
And use me to purchase all of your things.

And as I began to see
what was in front of me
I lost my mind
Just in time

I knew you had to go but in my heart I’d never be the same
What a shame, you broke this beauty
And you went on with some regret
Trust I’d never let you forget

The problem tho is I thought I forgave
But I didn’t so
Now I’m here
Crying again for the 3rd time
Finding that I only loved that 1st time

I want so bad to be free
So I can be
Somewhere where my heart can beat

So I’ll say this now
With a smile
I loved you once
I love you now
But I forgive you
Cuz you were a child

You’ll become a man one day, I know
And I’m sure that you’ll think of me
But I have to let you go
So I can be free to love who I need

I forgive you for the abuse you put me through
And I understand that there was something wrong with you not me
And that I gotta learn to let this be

I am strong despite, how you made me feel weak,
I am brave despite, how you made me feel afraid
I am confident despite, how you made me feel insecure
I am worthy of love despite, how you didn’t love me before

I am worrying less, carefree
Less stressed

I’m Living free