Heroin

Learning how to be okay with the fact that I wouldn’t leave people alone even after they left me alone, makes me wonder

Is it a strength or a weakness

Calling over and over again

Your voice mail became my best friend

Like an addict

The sound of you telling me to leave a message became my heroin

It wasn’t easy to give it up

Even when you blocked me

I found a way to still get my fix

Searching through old photos and videos

Sad but I had a problem that you couldn’t help me with

And even if anyone wanted to help me it wasn’t like I was trying to stop it

It wasn’t until recent that you’re responses to my stalking grew empty and you stopped posting anything new that I slowly found it harder to sustain my high

I was forced to move on but I’ll never forget how you left me

even when you finally realize how much you adored being wanted like that and realize you want me to come back

I’ll remember how you strung me along then I’ll expect you to start singing my song

I’ll want to watch you get high over me

Crawling at my feet

this will show me exactly how sad I seemed

Teaching me to get more and more clean